How to approach the subject of prenuptials

Prenuptials are delicate and emotionally tied, coming usually at a time of great stress mixed with wedding plans and family pressures.

From my experience, I give the following tips:

1. How to introduce the prenuptial subject

The intention is to protect assets which have been given to you or protecting assets handed down to you by family. So use the family as a reason to explain why it is important to have such an agreement in place. Discussions should be straightforward and hidden agendas are not a good idea. It should be frank, sincere and cards on the table.

2. When to talk

Like with any discussion which involves money or assets, it should be done in a neutral setting, at a neutral time. For example not at a time when so much is going on. Such discussions are a great skill and being brave about such matters will also give both of you a skill set that you can use later to grapple with uncomfortable subjects.

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3. Homework and Advice

Getting generic advice from one solicitor may help before broaching the subject. Such initial advice will clear the air and give the parties an opportunity to listen to what prenuptial agreements are, rather than fear them. Or simply get two new solicitors for both of you.

4. Where to find a Specialist Prenuptial Solicitor

Where do I find a specialist firm which deals with a Pre-nuptial agreement? The place to start is to find a member of Resolution.

This represents experienced family practitioners who both have a wealth of knowledge but also have a code of practice which reduces costs and acrimony between the parties. These solicitors are trained to a high level and most of the workload is such family law cases. Of course we are members too.

5. How to get started

The best thing is to first talk to the solicitor on the phone. You need to feel right about someone whom you are going to confide in. If a solicitor does not come on the phone, he/she may not have time to deal with your case. If the solicitor simply tries you to commit to a meeting and not give general advice over the phone, then that solicitor may not be right but you will find it difficult to change course at that point.

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